The winds have brought you here. You might as well rest, and take a look around. It is the space of me, a person called 4:30 AM. Here, I let my mind wander and allow it to unload what has been flowing through it. All too often, they are troubled waters, as I struggle with my past and the intense shame and guilt it brings. Therefore, take heed: My texts deal with pain and self-harm, sexual violence, substance abuse and thoughts of suicide. These are all things I have committed, and are wearing with me like a leaden jacket. If this is nothing for you, I beg you to leave. Do not trouble yourself with it. I did not harm you. I harmed my victims, and I was granted forgiveness from them, if not from myself.

But there is also beauty to be found here. I will share my passion for painted and photographed art. The deep joy I feel when looking at a fiery morning sky or the clouds passing on overhead. The close to spiritual connection I feel when I hear music. All of this you will find here as well.

Might it be an entertaining stay. If you wish, you can get in contact with me at any time. Forgive me for not offering a phone number, but my privacy is sacrosanct for me. If you happen to know me in person and you have gotten the link to my blog page: welcome! Good to see you. It means I must trust you. But even if not: enjoy your stay.

Seek heaven through violence.